I remember how we met,it was in a BBM group called Mom’s Connect. It was 2012/2013. It was a small group of about 15 women,all moms,some single,some married😀 We all had something in common,our kids.
I knew some of the members of the group,others,I didn’t know,you were one of those others.
One day,we were chatting in the group and somehow,you discovered your older sister lived just a street away from my house and so you said,”I’ll call you one of these days so we can actually meet in real life”.
That was the beginning of a friendship I didn’t even realize I valued deeply,you were older,wiser and strong with a touch of crazy😊.
We chatted often,we saw when we could. We always had something to talk about and you were so easy to be friends with.
You loved your son Terna deeply and he was everything to you. That morning in November when I was just logging my round and pregnant tummy out of the bathroom,I saw you had called me twice,I immediately called back,you sounded as calm as usual, “babe,Terna was hit by a car,I dey General hospital,I need a pair of bathroom slippers,I need you as soon as you can come” I didn’t ask anything,I just responded that I was on my way. We lost him and that was one of the worst days of my life… You were broken,at Gudu cemetery,despite your pain,you kept asking me if I was okay…
A part of you died with Terna but like the trooper you were,you kept going,you tried to live everyday as it came.
We always just clicked and we sometimes won’t see for up to 6 months even though we were in the same town but we just always pick up right where we stopped.

I remember the last time we hung out,it was last year,you sat across from me at my then office and sipped from your cup,coffee,juice? I didn’t ask. I remember you saying we should go down to shoprite to get a sandwich, and I laughed and reminded you that I gave up bread ages ago and in your usual manner,you asked if I didn’t want you to eat for two😊 We laughed a lot and you were talking about Ireland.

Then we kept planning to go out one of these evenings to eat fish and hang out,in December of 2018,you were in Makurdi with Queen mother. We kept chatting and planning to hang out,who knew life had something else planned?😢

I have read over our chats,I could not help laughing out at some and being really sad at others. We talked,you kept saying you were good,it was bad but you were out of the woods.😥😥I shouldn’t have believed you!

Then that evening you reached out saying we should pray at midnight,we did and I continued nights after, on my birthday,you reached out with birthday messages. Then throughout that week,I kept calling,it was either you were not reachable or we could barely hear each other, at other times,you didn’t pick.

However,that Friday morning,I woke up with the pressing need to talk to you,I called as early as I thought you would be awake,it was some minutes to 8. You said “babe,I just got out of hospital,let me call you back when I am settled”. I said okay,you sounded really weak and tired so I thought maybe you needed to get some sleep or something and got busy. It was at 2.00am,early hours of the Saturday just as I was about to sleep, I remembered you had not called me back,said a prayer for you and slept.

How could I have known that was the last time I would ever speak to you here? It was about 2.00pm on that Saturday as I rushed to meet up with some clothing orders Liliana called me,she was crying,she said ,” Yettie,wetin do Shima?” I was confused,I asked wetin happen and she said Fab called,your FB wall was filled with RIP. I can’t even remember what I said to her other than that I spoke with you just the day before…

Msur,it turned out to be true,I have read and reread our chats,I have gone over our many conversations, nothing ever suggested to me you would be gone this soon,I mean,you were Phoenix!

Shima,I still feel sometimes like it is all a bad dream. I had thought if you survived losing Terna,you would pull through anything😖.I think of Queen mother,I can only imagine her pain. Msur,I am happy I knew you. I didn’t even realize how close we had become. I keep thinking that one day you’ll call me and say ”  foolish geh ,so you sef follow believe say I die? I can’t die laidat na,I dey your gate!”

For the first time,writing is really difficult for me because I feel so numb. I can’t write anymore,too many disjointed thoughts in my head,flashes of you and your mischievous grin…You were such a remarkable person.One I can’t forget ever.

So long babe. I miss you, I hope you are resting? Till we meet again,rest in the bosom of the Lord.

In loving memory,

Msurshima  Deirdre Akure.

1977-2019