Hello there! I am back!

So soon? E shock you? E shock me myself😂😂

How are you today? Good? I hope the skyrocketing prices of food has not made your life more difficult? This one too will pass,God nor go shame us!

Two days back,I was watching a TV program,it was . It is a weight loss program and the main actor was a beautiful 21 year old plus sized lady who was addicted to junk food,did not like to indulge in any kind of physical activity,was overweight and felt she needed to lose weight.

Losing weight is a good thing provided you are doing it for the right reasons,first,she was a really pretty lady despite her weight,she was pear shaped and really curvy.
Her primary reason for wanting to lose weight was that she had a male best friend whom she had always liked but he was fine,tall,dark and handsome,athletic and played basket ball,she didn’t think she was good enough for him but she really liked him and was hoping that losing weight would get him to like her or be more open to considering having a relationship with her.

I watched her struggle throughout the period she tried to lose weight and then watched her talk to him about how she felt and the mortification on his face when she told him. He told her in clear terms and he thought she was fat and he would never see beyond that or see her in a romantic light. It was so sad to watch the downward spiral and the emotional blow out she had after that one conversation

The thing is this,as much as I am all for staying healthy and staying fit,the worst thing I think anybody can do to themselves is reduce/shrink themselves in any way to fit into other people’s ideals.

Now,this is different from the compromises we all have to make in our relationships to meet halfway and try to work things out,no.
For those who remember that song song by TLC where the lady was to undergo plastic surgery just to fit into a mold that the guy had in his head of how he wanted his woman to look till she came to her senses in the clinic,that’s exactly what I am saying.

Love is not a thing you negotiate or beg for. It is not something you say to the person what if I lose weight so that I can look like the girls you like,would I be good enough for you then? Or what if I had a plastic surgery to have the perfect biceps and triceps,would you love me then? Or what if I stopped talking to people so much,would it make you feel better? If I bleach my skin a little and become fair complexioned,will you like it? Ah!

Doing these is just going to cause you unnecessary heartache in the long run because believe it or not,there will always be someone with a better body,a finer face,a smaller waist line than you.
What then? You will keep chopping off bits and bits of yourself till you do not recognise yourself anymore?

Love is not just a feeling,well it starts as a feeling and then graduates over time to a conscious commitment. Negotiating with someone to love you can only end in one way,hurt! Something attracts you to a person,I agree,but sometimes you get to know that person and you realize that all the things you see outwardly do not match what you want inwardly and then everything begins to dissipate.

Please resist the temptation, no matter how hard to beg or negotiate love. Love yourself first,you want to lose weight? Lose it for yourself,that is the only way to keep it off anyway. You want to go back to school?by all means do.You want to stop wearing make up? Do it for yourself!

I talked to my kids about this and I think it is important to have a good body image as well as huge doses of confidence as a person.
We can all start off with our kids,affirming them at every opportunity we get and letting them know the important things as well as building them up for the journey ahead.

The way life is going now,our kid’s require a strong sense of self, strength of character and the spirit of God to enable a successful journey through the maze that is called life!

Accept and love yourself while striving to be who or how you want to be😊
❤
Yetunde

Image credit: @the.holistic.psychologist