Sometimes, I second guess myself as a parent, I wonder if I am bequeathing the right values,teaching my kids all they need to see them through life ,whether I am even giving them enough good memories or if I am fun enough for them. There are days I am sure I am doing good,there are other days,at least once in 10 days when I wonder “what have I gotten myself into??”

Being a parent is not something I take lightly,it is one of those things I thought through and wondered if I truly had the capacity to do before I embarked on it. I can be tough sometimes and at other times I am fooling around and laughing while rolling with Nicole and Zayne as if I have no care in the world.

Before I got married,one time,I wanted 3 kids,1 girl and two boys, then at another time,I was not sure if I ever wanted to get married,my parents have a good marriage so I sometimes wonder why I was undecided about getting married?that though is story for another day. Now,I have 2 kids, I do my best,but there are days I wonder if my best is good enough;I want to have Godly and upright kids,I want them to grow into independent individuals who are not afraid to speak their minds but are also sensitive and fair to others at all times. They are and will always be a part of me and their dad but I do not want to super impose any thing on them,I want them to be ‘their own people’, pave their own way and live their lives,with us guiding them where necessary though.

So,last week Saturday,as I blow dried Nicole’s hair,I had this conversation with her
Me: I don’t even know why you left your grandma’s soft and supple hair and decided you want my spongy,thick and unyielding hair?

Nicole:*giggles,my Ogori grandma right?

Me: Yes,Ogori grandma

NIcole: Maybe it’s because I know I will lock my hair like yours when I am 10years old

Me: Huh??I didn’t say you will lock it when you are 10,I said we’ll discuss it when you are 10 and of course it also depends on the secondary school you’ll be going to

Nicole: Oook mum,I hope I’ll go to one where they’ll allow me lock my hair

Me: weeeelll,besides,what if it’s boarding,how would you care for the hair and what if you are mandated to weave your hair a certain way?

Nicole :*turns to look at me* boarding?

Me: Yes,boarding,if it’s in Abuja,we may consider boarding from SSS 1,if it’s not in Abuja,weeellll …
I saw her shoulders shaking,so I bent over her,she was in tears,huge drops were running down her face?
Me: (squatting in front of her)what is it?

Nicole: (By now,crying in earnest) I don’t want to go to boarding school,how will I see you?I can’t stay so long away from you

Me: Hey sweetie, don’t worry your pretty head over all that just yet,by God’s grace,we have many more years before we have to decide,ok?

I guess I am not such a bad parent,I must be doing something right. Like most parents,we can only do our best. I hope she still feels this way about me some years from now😊