Hey there!

How are you today? I am good. The past few weeks have been busy and some sort of emotional upheaval for me. It has been a difficult time but I am a trooper,I never stop swinging😁

Truth is,sometimes,life shows up and tries to make a joke of everything we have held dear and of our very knowledge of ourselves. It is life afterall. Some day,I’ll talk about it or not😊

Today, what I have in mind to talk about is the burden of being a parent. I think being a parent is one of those things that should not be expected of everybody. It is a huge responsibility that we take lightly alot of times,especially in this part of the world.

Some weeks back,in church,a member and friend of the family said to me that he said to Oba(the son)that he was a fine young man and that he replied him that he knows. He said he asked him how he knew,he said his mother always tells him. We all laughed about it but it struck a cord.

The thing is,my two kids are as similar as they are different,in temperament,taste,character and emotions. I do not relate with them in the same exact way,I do not punish them in the same way,neither do I love them in the same way.

Nicole is a lot like me in some ways,she is reserved and does not open up to people easily. But once she does,she would do anything for that person. Now Oba on the other hand is more outgoing,like his dad,he makes friends very easily,will be the first to say hello and offer a hug.

They both have their own personalities and do not do things in the same way. I have had to learn each of them for themselves and parent based on each person’s personality.

When people say to me,you really do not want another child? I smile,parenting is hard work,I do not think I have enough love to go round more than two kids in addition to the hubs. I invest alot of time,prayers and energy into bringing up my kids,I am a very hands on parent and some days I feel so overwhelmed. I really do think having more kids would be me,spreading myself thin.

Parenting is not for everybody. I think it is one of those things we do not prepare enough for. The responsibility of raising another human and molding that person to be who they eventually become is scary,even for me.

Oba wears glasses. He has myopia and I remember how I felt that day at the optician,like what did I not do right? I had to read copiously about it.

All that talk of people saying parental instincts are latent in every individual? I really do not think this is true in any way. It is not something that is automatically switched on when you have kids. Some people will just not make good parents and the sooner we accept this,the better for everyone.

Parenting is hardwork. Nobody should be forced to be a parent if they do not want to be. And also the tendency for women to want to force a guy’s hand by getting pregnant? Or a man deliberately going out of his way to get a woman pregnant even when she does not want to be? I think it is despicable.😒

Being a parent should be a well thought out choice. If you plan to be a good parent that is.
Parenting however makes you want to be a better person,it bestows on you the kind of responsibility only another human being,tiny and dependent on you can give.😊

I’ll leave you with something I saw somewhere . I can’t remember it word for word so I’ll just paraphrase. It said be careful how you speak to your children because your voice eventually becomes their inner voice.

Find a child that suffers low self esteem or poor self image,check it,it started from their parents.
What are you planting in those children? What voice are you speaking to them in?
Be their safe haven.😊

❤❤
Yetunde

Photo credit- Senjuti Kundu