There are a lot of things I am passionate about, relationships is one of them.I have been mulling over a lot of relationship issues lately, I have talked to friends and family about what makes a good relationship/marriage and I realize that it is different strokes for different folks.
What makes a man meet a woman,like her,befriend her,fall in love with her and years later he begins to maltreat,disrespect and even go as far as beating her?what makes a woman love a man so much that he becomes the center of her world, years later, the same woman begins to despise the same man,disrespect him, put him down and even begin to verbally or emotionally abuse him?
I have tried to find answers, I talk to different people and I have heard a lot of differing opinions about what different people define as a ‘good relationship’ or should I say a good marriage.
A friend once said to me that for a marriage to be good to her,there must be lots of money in it;going by her definition, solid finances are important to her. Someone else said to me,good sex is important to me, so my spouse has to know his way in bed as I cannot live the rest of my life knowing that I am not going to be having regular orgasms. Now someone else said to me, God must be important to my spouse as I cannot compromise on that,if she fears God, we will be happy together. While I agree that all of the above mentioned are great in a marriage, for me the most fundamental thing is how willing the two people involved in the marriage are to make it work and this is where the love must come with absolute commitment and the will from both parties to WORK TOGETHER to achieve whatever goals they want for their marriage.
I have never believed there is a one size fits all approach to marriage, what works for couple A may not necessarily work for couple B,however I believe there are constants;love,mutual respect, harmony of goals and the one I consider most important is willingness and commitment from both parties,it takes two to tango. While I am a bible believing Christian, I find it very hard to take in that people expect the woman to be the one going the extra mile to make her marriage work,they are quick yo quote “a wise woman buildeth her home”why?is she married to herself?why is it a marriage if she is the only one required to make it work? Dear man,if you are letting your wife be the only one to try to make it work, if you are letting her be the only one to say I am sorry,if you let her be the only one praying and fasting for you,if you let her be the only one visiting the “War Room”, one day, she will run out of ammunition,one day,her basket will be empty because she has given all she has without getting anything in return ,so she will pick herself up, dust herself off and just let you be.
Dear woman,if you are so used to using your tears as a weapon of blackmail,if you let your man be the only one doing all the giving,if you let him be the only one paying the bills,if you let him be the only one that carries all the worries and burdens,one day,he will get immune to those tears, one day,he may just drop dead from the financial burden,one day he may just decide,enough is enough.
Men and women are both equally responsible for the growth and progress of their marriages.Both parties should be willing to WORK TOGETHER to make the best of their marriage, one person should not be doing the heavy lifting while the other watches like a bystander. Do not just take,take and take,learn to give as well as take.Marriage is not for selfish people neither is it for everybody.
This is me saying to you, Be happy!

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